Elusive

I’m so confused by my own choices. Am I making the right one? Did I give up too quickly? I miss the good and happy times so much, and now I’m seeing the potential for there to be so many of them. There was a dark time, why was I so affected by it?

The time when I watched such an amazing play with amazing company and still yearned for you to be by my side. When your name was said on stage, and my heart stopped. Gaurav and then my insides twisted and all the air left my lungs. I shrivelled and I wanted to cry. When I read posts and articles about love, and how love that lasts will last only through determination and sticking together through the hard times, I feel so guilty. And when finally faced with the possibility that we would have to stop talking, I feel this sense of doom everytime. When we had our last cuddle and kisses, and I couldn’t stop crying at the finality of it. Why did I rip myself away when it made me so upset.

“We were too good, and too intertwined to not spark and click again when we meet again”

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